Saturday, November 8, 2008


Nothing I can think of at the moment is more antagonizing than being plagued by insecurites. Everyone has them but most people deny this fact. How does one propose dealing with these deep seated insecurites? Those that exist in the every day realm of things when every one else thinks you have it all together. Constantly questioning the imperfections that we think all can see when in most cases others don't notice them at all. It's difficult waking up everyday thinking you are just not good enough. Wondering why you feel that way when everything seems to be going well. I wonder if I made the right decisions so far. Wonder if I would have applied myself more if life would be different. Wonder if my father was there would life be more manageable. The election of Barack Obama has changed lives in so many different ways. Of course, it's a historical moment in time but I will tell you what it has done for me on a personal level. It has made me question my existence even more. What really separates me from Barack Obama? Other than the obvious....gender...what really separates us? What separates me from Oprah Winfrey, Maya Angelou, Tyler Perry, Halle Berry, Michael Jordan, Mo'Nique, Michael Eric Dyson or Martin Luther King, Jr? What do these people have that gives them the balls to think they can exceed ordinary? I remember being in Jr. High School. I wanted to be an actress, a singer, a cheerleader, a TV newscaster and a writer.